Tuesday, October 5, 2010

The Little Things

They moved my mailbox at work.

Allow me to explain.

It's been in the same place since I started. Bottom left hand corner. In three years, I've developed a habit of quick-scanning it to see what's in it and might need attention.

Perhaps it's worth interjecting that I've moved offices. Again. I tried to diagram all the moves for someone today and it fairly well resembles a weird star shape. This is my 4th or 5th space since I started. Surprisingly, for sharing an office, as I will be doing starting next week, the space feels about as it did in my last office, down to where our assistant is going to be placed. Kind of funny, really. So yeah, that's been going on. The only real downside is that my back is to the door (HATE) and my monitor's are wide open and in plain sight. Not that I'm looking at porn at work or anything! Just a bit annoying. Still, it could be worse.

But back to the mailbox.

Yeah, I went to my other department, as I do everyday and when I returned to my new office, I gave my box a glance. There was weird stuff in it. I set my things down and walked back and frowned. It took a moment, but I did eventually realize the problem was that my box is not where it used to be. It's been moved to the fake-box area where it used to be shelving and doesn't have dividers.

The person who is taking over the responsibilities I used to have (as I've been moved to bigger/better? responsibilities) has my old box.

I started to bitch about the change on twitter . . .

. . . and then I paused.

Because I realized that if the thing I most have to bitch about is my mailbox being moved? Things are going pretty well for me right now.

And you know what? Things are going pretty well for me right now. I'm happy (finally) with the direction at work. My new chair is very happy with me, my supervisors are happy with me, I'm catching up on my learning curve, things are settling down.

Home life isn't perfect (is it ever?), but it too is pretty good. I got past a block on some writing. We're slowly getting the house cleaned up. The animals are doing ok - though Jonah is dealing with allergies, poor thing. And I've got a new toy coming soon (more on that later).

We've reached a place of peace with trying to conceive - we're not. Not for a couple of cycles, anyway. And it's a decision - that while hard when I'm actually fertile, even excruciating because we keep thinking 'What if is this is our last/only chance? Oh, dear god' - that we are pretty comfortable with right now. Part of this is hoping to avoid being heavily pregnant/potentially on bedrest/out on leave during the busiest time of the fiscal year. I am also setting a serious goal about a weight I'd like to be at before ttc again. I am hopeful we can start ttc again in December, but we'll see when we get there.

I feel good with this decision for now. There is a bit of relief in there at a break. On the whole - well, my mailbox got moved at work today. And that's just about the biggest complaint in my life. Which means I've got a pretty nice life right now.

I hope the same is true for all of you. Cheers!


B said...

yay to that being the worst problem!

a few jobs ago i used to sit with my back to the whole office. people used to walk up behind me and wait for me to notice them and i used to jump out of my skin (when i'm concentrating i don't notice!). i ended up getting a 'rear view mirror' for my monitor so i got that flash of movement and knew someone was there. it helped! just thought it might help you :)

i would have attacked anyone who had said that not getting pregnant immediately would be a good thing. and it terrifies me that all this time later we're not pregnant and no one seems to care or think there might be a problem except me. but i can still see that in some ways it's a good thing that it didn't happen straight away. and i'm still ambivalent about this month. we'll see, i guess.

anyway. will stop rambling in your comments now :)

CottonSocks said...

Ramble away, dear!

I, too, would have wanted to attack anyone who suggested it. It's way too close to "It will happen when it's meant to! Just relax!" and "Greater plan" talk that I absolutely despise.

And I think that if I didn't have some idea of what could be happening - my weight - and certain knowledge that we can't do anything without trying that first (and more money, which comes only with continuing to pay down our debt) I would be furious and upset.

I also think that I feel that my doc would help me and take me seriously, though I haven't tried it yet. If I was trying and not being heard, that would make me really angry. But I know how weight can affect the hormone cycle, and there isn't much point in going in when I know what they are going to say, you know? If it was the difference of 20 pounds? Meh. But my size? Yeah, all right. Let's take a break and give it a go.

gallerygirl said...

I'm very happy to read this post. You inspire others with your persistence.