Thursday, January 13, 2011

Oh, hi.

*tap tap* Is this thing on?

Oh, good, it's working.

Um, Hi. How're you?

So . . . yeah. It's been awhile. Over two month, by my quick calculations.

Uh. Sorry?

Let me say quickly - I'm fine. Nothing really sort of awful happened, nothing amazing happened. Work was getting progressively worse and I wasn't coping particularly well. Mmmm, that may be unfair. I think more accurate would be to say I had nothing left over after coping with work and wanted nothing more than to escape into my fictional works and bury myself so that I could recuperate from feeling as if I'd been beaten about the head all day. I didn't have much to say that wasn't going to be a repetition of what I was trying to get away from. I was unbearably tired of the whinging and the sound of my voice and my situation.

So I didn't post for awhile.

And then work got more unbearable and I hit a point where I had to flat out let some shit go because I was in a no-win situation. And then the holidays were underway, and I didn't want to write about the mood swings and the ever-present searching for glimpses of my son in that time. And then my friend had a baby and I was busy writing, writing, writing and feeling pretty good about it.

And I didn't post for awhile.

And then the holidays were here and I was baking and baking and traveling and wrapping and eating and traveling and sleeping and writing. And then I went back to work and the world flipped upside down and my supervisor's boss quit for another job in another division of the company and we've all spent the last two weeks freaking out and being relieved and plotting and planning and biting our fingernails and wondering what the hell we were going to do without our safety net, no matter how much the safety net pissed us off and made life unbearable for much of November and December. And now my colleague has been named as the interim in that position with plans to apply for it and there is a general sense of relief and then my friend emailed me and said "Um, what's up with the blog?" and I came here to write the longest run -on sentence I possibly could. How'd I do?

Honestly, the holidays were nice, better than I expected. I took some time just for us and that made a world of difference. I rested a lot, which I needed badly.

I've lost about 10 pounds or so, depending on the day. My face is definitely less puffy.

I was so freaking lucky to get to meet up with fudgebudget while she was in town, which was the awesomest way possible to end the year. I've been pouting ever since because she doesn't live here for me to harass more often.

The Spurs have been fucking amazing - best record in the league, and signs of improvement in areas they've struggled in. Fun time to be a Spurs fan, bad time to decide to forgo League Pass!

Work is gradually getting better, or maybe it's just I feel I have my feet under me more. Though how things play out now is up in the air. I feel oddly optimistic; I think my colleague will do a terrific job, and we can work together. Of course it could all go to shit, but I'm the calm one at present.

We are not currently ttc, though it's really hard, to be honest. A few more pounds, my position being settled and seeing where this crucial position at work goes, and maybe then. That said, we're not preventing, so who knows. My cycle has been messed up since November, but I attribute that to the emotional upheaval and stress and the diet.

DH is doing well, about to start class again soon. Dog is well and cats are well. If I am not all well, and I'm not all the time, I am at least more peaceful than a few weeks ago.

My exercises in fanfiction go well; I'm really pleased by the reception I'm getting, though I can get anxious about it. I've got a second story I'm posting as I write it that I am sort of in love with. In fact, it's calling my name now, begging me to return to it.

So, off I toddle. I hope you are all well, that the New Year has been kind to this point and that you are each finding your own peaceful moments.


Alyssa said...

So glad you're okay! A twitter friend of mine & I were wondering if you were okay!

Elaine said...

I'm glad to hear things are okay. I've missed reading your blog.

Diana @Hormonal Imbalances said...

Alyssa tweeted me to say you were back and I think we were both pretty excited. :) I'm glad things are going well, and have been thinking about you.