Sunday, April 22, 2012

I will cut you.

So after all this time, I'm still here at a day shy of 38 weeks. Baby has moved head down and into birth position (though is not well engaged in the pelvis yet), and is healthy as can be or so say the tests. The last growth scan indicated a 7+ pound infant and my new doctor cheerfully informed me that if I go to 40 weeks, we may have a 9-pounder on our hands. I did not find that amusing.

They originally told me less than a 5% chance of getting to May, and now we're looking at scheduling an induction for that first week of May. It's surreal - happy news, of course! the best possible outcomes - but surreal. I'm hanging in there - the complaints of pregnancy are normal ones and I'm tired and ready to be done with work. They will not let me go past my due date, but unless baby makes an appearance this coming week or the 24-hour urine collection or bloodwork I'll do tomorrow (due to another high blood pressure reading in office) suggest pre-eclampsia, then we're pretty much looking at induction the following week. I'm guessing this will end with induction, given that not much has happened naturally. No cervical change (save some shortening) since the cerclage came out.

I find that I am tired and more grumpy than I've any real right to be. My doctors have been great with listening to me and really hearing what I am saying about my anxiety and working with me to put me at ease. I have a lot of testing and monitoring (probably made easier by the fact that my blood pressure has given high/wonky readings so they can categorize it under PIH/Pre-E observation and testing, though it continues to come back clear time and again. . .). I have a few contractions - mostly BH, I think. Random, mildly annoying. The baby is big and stretching makes me cringe because various sharp body parts are poked into painful places and there really isn't much room in there any longer.

We're mostly ready. Not at work, but hey, if I can just finish two or three things, I'll rest easy about it. We've got our plans laid out for leave and are 90% sure about our plans for childcare. The upstairs is as clean and organized as it has ever been. It's nice up there - I want to spend time there. Amazing that a mere few weeks ago, we couldn't walk all the way into one room and had dedicated pathways to navigate the other. Everything up there now has a place (save the linen closet, which we are working on today now that we've gotten new shelving). The carseat has been installed and the hospital bag packed since the night before the cerclage removal. The co-sleeper, pack'n'play, swing and bouncer have been assembled and have batteries ready and waiting. The nursery is pretty much done, though DH is going to go over the carpet with the steam cleaner one more time (there is a persistent sort of stain in one corner - it gets lighter each time, but isn't gone yet). We've interviewed a pediatrician, and while I won't claim it was love at first sight, the practice's policies were in line with our own and she is board certified and affiliated with the hospitals I wanted and takes our insurance, so it's as good a place to start as any. If we don't really click with her, there are hundreds of others to choose from.

 Beyond that, I'm just sort of assuming on-the-job training. I know a fair amount about newborn and infant care nad my husband knows much less, but in the end, we shrugged and said they'll show us much of what we need in the hospital and the internet is full of resources. Certainly, dumber people that us manage to reproduce and not kill their offspring through sheer ineptitude or lack of experience, so I'm going to assume that we'll survive.

God, I hope so.

 But mostly, the only thing I really wanted to say is that the next person who smirks and tells me to get some sleep now, HAHAHAHAHA, because you won't be able to once the baby arrives is getting shanked. It's neither clever nor helpful advice, and because I can't sleep and am fucking tired, I'm nearing the point where I will not be held responsible for my actions.


juliane2004 said...

I just wanted to say I am so glad you made it to this point :) Congratulations! Can't wait to hear about the baby :)

Emily said...

I always think that's such a stupid comment anyway. Have you ever tried to 'store up' sleep? A great night's sleep makes you feel well rested for maybe two days... And guess what?! Your baby is going to be a needy, greedy, scream-y newborn for WAY LONGER THAN THAT!

People are dumb.

Here's hoping your body decides to evict your tenant sooner rather than later!

Paula said...

I am keeping you in my thoughts. Been watching your updates, anxious for the new little one to arrive. I get the cut you comment. I have turned into a very rude person lately, stopping people from asking questions about this pregnancy by just walking away. Good luck in the next few weeks you have left. Can't wait for you to post an update about your screaming new baby arrival.

Unknown said...

I am so happy your little one is almost here! You are going to do great, I've seen the patience you have shown newbs on BOTB, a newborn will be a piece of cake LOL.

Unknown said...

I am so happy for you! You're almost there! You are going to do great, I have seen you be more than patient with newbies on BOTB, a baby will be a piece of cake LOL!
Don't worry about work, they'll manage without you and if they can't they be that much more excited for your return. There is no way to store up or catch up on sleep, you'll make due and new babies actually sleep more than people make it sound like they do.

My recommendation for a happy baby & ultimately happy mommy. Swaddle blankets, white noise machine & The Happiest Baby on the Block DVD. Oh and a moby wrap, its a little hard to fugure out at first but makes getting thinks done, hell even eating lunch so much easier :)
Good Luck!

mtendere said...

So excited for you! I wanted to punch the people who told me to sleep during those last weeks of pregnancy. My general response was, "I wish I could," with a glare.

Hope everything goes smoothly. The newborn days are harder than you think, but there's nothing terribly complicated, it just takes its toll on you physically and emotionally. You guys will do just fine.

gallerygirl said...

I am so happy to see this post! 38 weeks. Wow, it brings tears to my eyes to know how long you have waited for this. I cannot wait to hear about your little baby joining the world. I'll be thinking of you!!

Meegs said...

Hope all is well and that you're cuddling a baby right now!!