How I told my mother that her daughter was getting laid successfully.

So, my mom is one of my best friends. I love her most in the world next to my husband. I couldn't imagine not telling her right away. Of course, the fact that she has to decide about moving here to care for our children makes a difference as well.

Anyway, I'm one of those people, which we already knew, since I'm a charter, a homebirther (what you didn't know that? Ha! more to follow later then), an early pee on the stick person . . . I couldn't just call and tell her, I had to have a cute plan.

The plan was to take the last digital we'd so carefully saved and wrap it up with a bib that said "I Love My Grandma" and give it to her along with a card that gave the pertinent details, like the edd.

We had the bib, we bought the card, I peed on the stick, but because I wasn't sure what was happening when, I freaked out about possible leaving the digital test in the car and it overheating and being blank when she went to read it, so I made my dh put back in the hotel room, and we ended up without it. Oh well.

We wrapped the big in obnoxious green tissue paper and shoved it in an obnoxious yellow bag. We had a pretty card with a pearly light orange front with swirlies and stars cut out of it and tiny white print that said 'Congratulations'. The inside was yellow and more white print said 'Time to celebrate!' and around that I wrote 'You're going to be a grandma. EDD June 4, 2009! Love you, CottonSocks and DH'.

So this is the point that I start getting very nervous. Why? No freaking clue. I love my mom and she loves me. It was no secret we were ttc. We'd just talked about ttc when she was in town. She's always supported me and she's always said she would be happy to be a grandmother. Nevertheless, I was getting nervous. What if she had a reaction that I totally did not expect? What if she freaked out? And let's be honest, announcing pregnancy is announcing that your husband is banging you. It's no secret, mind, but it's not a subject I've broached, directly or indirectly, with my mother.

So DH offered to do the talking. And it went like this. We get to her house and the dog goes nuts because he hasn't seen us in two days, which must mean we dies and abandoned him forever and while Grandma is nice and all, she's not us, and OMG! MOMMY AND DADDY ARE HERE! SQUEEE (or in Barky VonSchnauzer's case, RUFFF RUFFF RUFFF RUFFF!)! BLISS, DELIGHT, LOVE, ADORATION! So the bag understandably went unnoticed for awhile. When Mom saw it, she asked what it was. DH took his cue and said, "Mom, this is for you. We really appreciated your coming out and helping us and so we have this little something for you." He hands her the atrocious bag.

She exclaims that it wasn't necessary, and pulls out the card and the bib. She opens the bib first, as I hoped she would. She looks it over, laughs, and says thanks. Dh and I exchange a look. Clearly, she's missed the meaning on this one. Well, that's probably our fault for referring to her as Grandma to the dog. But . . . it's a baby bib. Shouldn't that be obvious? No? Well, the card should clear it up.

Only she just sits there with the card on her lap and chats away to us. We can't tell her to open it without being obvious but the tension is rising. Finally she gets distracted and I subtly point it out to her and she opens it. Finally, we have reached an understanding, as she gasps and looks up and says "Are you serious? Are you kidding me?" At this point, I burst into tears and assure her we aren't kidding and Dh is grinning from ear to ear.

Now Mom is concerned because I am crying. She hesitates and says, "Well, this is happy news, isn't it?" And I start laughing, because it is very happy news and I'm a hormonal mess. She danced on the couch and asked questions and has basically exploded with happiness.

We asked her not to tell anyone, and that lasted all of 5 minutes. We saw her for lunch the next day and she announced that Grandma was so pleased and sent her congratulations. Sigh. Well, I let it go because Grandma isn't exactly young in her early 90s and her health has been fragile, so letting her know another great-grandchild is on the way might cheer her up. I had to draw the line when Mom let slip that she was having lunch with her best friend and was debating whether or not to tell her.

My response was, "How about no? How about we don't tell Best Friend until I tell my own father? I probably won't wait another 9 weeks, but please don't tell anyone else until I tell Dad, ok? I'll let you know as soon as I tell him, all right?" She agreed, when put like that. I'm reminding myself that it is her excitement and enthusiasm and I'm so pleased to hear it. Sometimes I have to try a little harder than others, but I'm so thrilled that she is looking forward to it.

And that is the story. Still trying to figure when and how to tell Dad. I just don't know. . .