Right between the eyes.

I don't want to get into all the details, it's too much to try and explain. I was feeling a bit morose in the car, and was singing the songs from my list below. I couldn't remember how one started without the music in the background, so I tried to find it in the car. Only I grabbed the wrong tape (yeah, tape. I know. bite me anyway or buy me a new car) and discovered a tape I haven't listened to in years. YEARS.

And I was excited because a song I have loved for a long time was there. It's one that people either love or hate, I think. I love the imagery of the song, it's always struck me as very powerful. At different times, I have loved different parts, but I've always loved the last bit about the moon, because I have this thing about the moon.

This is the song - Jacob and 2 women (The World As Best As I Can Remember It) by Rich Mullins.

Jacob, he loved Rachel and Rachel, she loved him
And Leah was just there for dramatic effect
Well it's right there in the Bible, so it must not be a sin
But it sure does seem like an awful dirty trick
And her sky is just a petal pressed in a book of a memory
Of the time he thought he loved her and they kissed
And her friends say, "Ah, he's a devil"
But she says, "No, he is a dream"
This is the world as best as I can remember it

Now Jacob got two women and a whole house full of kids
And he schemed his way back to the promised land
And he finds it's one thing to win 'em
And it's another to keep 'em content
When he knows that he is only just one man
And his sky's an empty bottle and when he's drunk the ocean dry
Well he sails off three sheets to some reckless wind
And his friends say, "Ain't it awful"
And he says, "No, I think it's fine"
And this is the world as best as I can remember it

Now Rachel's weeping for the children
That she thought she could not bear
And she bears a sorrow that she cannot hide
And she wishes she was with them
But she just looks and they're not there
Seems that love comes for just a moment
And then it passes on by

And her sky is just a bandit
Swinging at the end of a hangman's noose
'Cause he stole the moon and must be made to pay for it
And her friends say, "My, that's tragic"
She says, "Especially for the moon"
And this is the world as best as I can remember it
And this is the world as best as I can remember it


I'm singing along and get to section about Rachel, and dear God, it hit me so hard that I literally was breathless for about 10 seconds and then I was weeping. Full on gasping for breath between sobs, tears streaming down my face shuddering weeping.

I feel ok now, though I get teary thinking about that song even now. It just hit me powerfully and I understand in a way I wish I didn't.

But I get that so well. And her friends say, "My, that's tragic." And she says, "Especially for the moon."

Especially for the moon.