Therapy

So yesterday was my first appointment with the new therapist, hereafter known as Dr. K.

Dr. K was selected from a list provided by Dr. B, and becuase we played phone tag and because of appointment and work conflicts, we weren't able to meet before yesterday. I was nervous because, well, it is difficult to open up to a total stranger and because I feel so much better these days, it's hard to know what goals I have for therapy.

Admittedly, my eyes were on the future - I am anticipating going off the anti-depressants in the first trimester of pregnancy and the thought scares the shit out of me. Because if you've been around for awhile, you'll remember that I was totally and utterly freaked out while pregnant with Gabriel. And lemme tell you - that's not going to get any better with the next one. Some things are already better, like the tests and the monitoring that we are going to be doing. So getting a therapist who can help me manage that anxiety seemed important (apart from the fact that Dr. B required it).

I liked her. It was ok, you know? I told her the whole story, and she was suitably and predictably horrified. And then we talked about our future plans and the plans I have with Dr. B for managing a future pregnancy and the tests we are doing.

What I didn't realize is that Dr. K's sub-specialty is in helping women with previous pregnancy loss. And she believes in taking an active role in care management and in communicating with the other caregivers. And has been active in the midwifery groups in town. So, really? She's pretty perfect for me. She gets where I am coming from, she gets why some of the changes are hard for me. She is all about working with the doctor and has in fact worked with my doctor and just about all of the MFM's I could possibly see.

Her program for me is going to be pretty broad-based. She'll help me work off the meds gradually and deal with the anxiety and help me go through more working through the trauma of Gabriel's birth. Physical stuff like walking and yoga, diet and sleep. She wants to help me learn a lot of coping techniques for anxiety and also for focusing on shutting out the negative possibilities. On getting me as ready as I can be for the next pregnancy. She's pleased with the proactive attitude Dr. B has and with how we are going ahead and, like Dr. B, is positive we can do this.

I'm all on board for that, believe you me.

I'll see her again next week, to get started. Bring it on.

In other news? Ty, Dr. B's nurse, called and Dr. B is insistent that we get the SHG done asap, and so has offered to have the infertility specialist do the procedure, as she will be out of town, if I so desired. Hell yeah. I like Dr. B a lot, but I am not yet so attached that I need her to be the one doing it. They can collaborate and if it means we get moving sooner, awesome. I am growing to like Dr. B more and more. So we are currently scheduled for first thing in the morning, Dec. 8 (but I'm to call if my cycle is wildly different than projected). All of this feels like forward movement, like positive changes. Which is so very welcome right now.