OMFG. HEADDESK. No words.

I can barely form coherent sentences right now.

I just got off the phone with my mw about 20 minutes ago and I'm still trying to process.

My b/w came back. I did another draw yesterday (only a tiny bruise) to check and see if they were going down, since the spotting went away and then came back (only, heavier, joy for me and now I need a new pair of panties).

I would not have been surprised to hear it was the same. Or that it was slightly lower. Or that it was slightly higher.

I was cautious when she asked if I had a minute to talk. I said yes and was bowled over to learn that my level went up. High.

495.

She has no explanation. She quickly said that I should not get my hopes up, because these are still abnormally low numbers. She said I can have an u/s but there is no rush, and I can have more b/w.

I'm going for more b/w Monday and probably an u/s Tuesday after the b/w comes back, unless the numbers go down.

This puts an ectopic back on the table. Damn it. I was so glad we were done worrying about that.

The doubling rate is still low - 2.39 days. In early pregnancy, rates should double about every 48-72 hours, and most are faster than that. This is in that range, but is it worth pointing out that I ovulated on 12/7? Which should make me 6w5d pregnant? Which makes those rates ridiculously low?

Didn't think so.

This is insane.

INSANE.

I just don't even know what to think. Or do. Or say. I am ready for this to be done, and despite having resigned myself to another miscarriage/chemical pregnancy/whatever and looking forward to moving on - Here I fucking am. Again.

And fuck yes, there is a little hopeful voice somewhere inside singing, "OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG" with joy and pointing out that my boobs were inexplicably sore today (which I noted before the mw called me).