6 weeks!

I probably should have saved my post for today, since it's left me with very little to talk about, lol.

I'm feeling pretty good this morning. Although, I'm pondering a very important question. How is it that I produce so much more urine now? I'm drinking a little bit more, as I try to keep well hydrated (and seem thirstier) and I've cut back on caffeine and artificial sweeteners, meaning I drink more real water, but really - it's not an obscene amount or anything. I understand the mechanics of frequent urination - kidneys flushing fluids more quickly to help keep everything clean, growing uterus putting pressure on the bladder, etc. But I am astounded by the amount of pee that resides in my bladder. No wonder I have to pee more. There is a ton of it in there, waiting to come out. It's truly puzzling.

Anyway, today is a gorgeous day and I was forced up early and out into it by DH having to cover a shift in his office, so I took him to work. Wheeeee! I was tired, but now I feel good. I thought briefly about a pedicure, because my heels are nasty and gross, but I made the mistake of stopping at this shopping center that is on the way home. We need a new mattress pad and there happens to be a Bed, Bath and Beyond there. So I priced some out, bought some yummy rose and lavender smelling things and decided to wait on the mattress pad until I could measure the corners again (I can never refold those stupid things to fit back into the packaging if we have to return it).

At first I figured I'd browse around the shopping center - La Madeline is there, and I could pop over to Borders before-hand and pick up a book to read while I ate lunch on the patio or something. And I could browse Target and maybe just while away the hours until I could go pick DH up from work. That was the plan, but I found myself uninterested in browsing BBB. Which is funny, because before we were married, I could waste an afternoon there pawing through the curtains and bedding and mentally updating our registry.

So instead of an hour in there, I was in there for maybe 20 minutes. And I realized . . . Motherhood Maternity is just a quick walk down from there. Now, they do have plus size, and they do fit me (I have a handful of things already courtesy of Ebay), if the sleeves are stretchy or generously cut. I generally think they are overpriced and not the best quality, and I was only in there once during my pregnancy with Chickadee when I scored a new pair of jeans that had been returned for $17. I actually have worn them since then several times (great for Thanksgiving dinner, I might add). I decided to browse. It was a little scary as I don't want to spend money on clothes I won't need. And the u/s is looming Wednesday and I fear bad news and last night's internet search for comfort was a little blood-curdling in that I found a lot of people talking about how they'd seen a heartbeat and later had a missed miscarriage when the baby died shortly after.

But I'm feeling good today, and I am determined to be hopeful and honor the undertone of peace and calmness in this pregnancy. And I need more light shirts because for the life of me I can't find half my summer wardrobe and I'm already hot. So I browse, trying to find stuff that doesn't scream maternity, isn't ugly and isn't overpriced and I did indeed find 2 cute shirts on sale in my size that are similar to things I already wear, so I purchased them. I think the cashier was very confused when she asked if I'd been there before and I said, "Not since my last miscarriage." She just blinked and handed me the free stuff they give first time customers.

That only took about 15 minutes, as their selection in plus size was ridiculously small and half of it wasn't my size anyway (I think I could wear some of the 2x stuff, but I'd rather not chance it and I prefer flowy stuff anyway, which is it's own post as I contemplate my in-between maternity pants because of how bloated I feel). So I still had plenty of time and decided to head over to Borders.

I haven't really browsed a bookstore in awhile with no intentions of buying or anything specific in mind, so this was fun. I vaguely strolled through the bargain area where little caught my eye until I stumbled on Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Yes, indeed, friends. I snatched it up. I have quite the collection of P&P companion books and spin-offs. I love the quality stuff - and there is some really quality stuff out there - and I'd been told this was a lot of fun. So I picked it up.

Then came the trip to the mystery aisle. I LOVE mystery, suspense and thrillers. I will read nearly anything. But to my wonderous eyes, what should appear? Not one, but TWO new Laurie R. King's - one brand new in one of my favorite series ever, the Russell/Holmes series! and one less new but new to me. Manna from heaven, friends. I've been fretting over being distracted until the u/s and how worked up I could get and I stumble on not one, but THREE new engaging books. And I guarantee they will absorb me.

I then wandered over to the pregnancy aisle, feeling much the same as when I wandered into Motherhood. A little trepidatious, but feeling hopeful. Eh, there isn't much catching my eye, truthfully. I vaguely considered a couple of birthing books I've always wanted to read that aren't always in stock, but I still feel leery of thinking quite that far ahead, and I think my friend has them anyhow. And then I considered a baby name book for reasons that I cannot possibly articulate, given that we have our names for 4 children (of either sex) chosen and I'm still very happy with them. And then my eyes fell on it - a book I'd looked for last time I'd been in this store, which was after the ectopic, on Pregnancy after Loss. It was suddenly there, sitting by itself, in the middle of the baby names books, beckoning me. I grabbed it and again felt - this is right.

Went to the front, chatted with the lovely cashier who was an older British lady with a Jane Austen mania, and who told me I'd love P&P&Z and then made it back to my car to discover I'd wasted not even a full hour. Breakfast was sitting in a lump in my stomach, and I'd already spent far too much money, so I ditched the idea of a pedicure and lunch and came on home.

The day continues to be nice, and there are children enjoy in the pool in our courtyard and I am tempted to follow their lead (though perhaps in the larger, deeper pool on the other side of the complex) with one of my fabulous new books. What a lovely day this has been - a good omen to begin 6 weeks/week 7!