Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Doctor's Appointment

So I went to the new doctor today for my 6 week post-partum visit.

It went surprisingly well. I'm feeling quite tired so I won't write it all up right this moment (which is good because I spelled three words incorrectly in this sentence - twice).

Suffice it to say that I feel very comfortable with this doctor. While she is not someone I would have chosen before, she seems to meet the level of care I need now and has offered a plan that is very reasonable to me.

I have a starter pack of an anti-depressant and a prescription for more and orders to find a psychologist or psychiatrist before our next appointment to continue the anti-depressants. She believes strongly that therapy is important to coping with depression, particularly in a case like mine, but also that I need more help than just therapy. I wasn't totally ready for that, but I'll do it as a condition to continue the anti-depressants, because getting control of the depression is a pre-requisite for trying to conceive again. And I know, I know, I know, that therapy is probably going to be necessary to cope with the anxiety of another pregnancy. Possibly continuing on anti-anxiety or anti-depressants as well, though both the doc and I prefer to be weaned off first.

Otherwise, she believes Gabriel's birth was brought about by a placental abruption. That there is not much chance of it recurring, that the three losses of the last year are not related - just a string of unbelievably bad luck. I can start trying to conceive in a couple of months, provided the depression is under control. I am so relieved that she did not make my weight an issue, just encouraged me to be healthy as possible. We are planning to schedule the saline infusion test whose actual name escapes me for Dec/Jan to make certain there is nothing in my uterus (scar tissue, septum, fibroid, etc) that could cause or contribute to placental malformation. The encouragement she gave and the treatment plan she's laid out are reassuring. She believes we will have a baby and wants to help us make that happen.

So. Yes. That is done and out of the way, and God, am I relieved. A cloud off the horizon, a doctor I can work with, at least for now, and some hope that I won't feel like this forever and that trying to conceive again is not necessarily a doomed prospect. I can't replace Gabriel and I can't have him back, but we may yet get to be parents to a living, breathing child, and that hope could not have come at a better time.

11 comments:

Serendipite said...

((HUGS)) and good luck

Christy said...

I'm so glad you made it through your appt. I want to let you know that your story sounds so very similar to mine. Though I had 3 healthy kids/pregnancies first, I had 2 miscarriages with no reason other than same as yours (bad luck) and then got preg with Chase and I guess it was a placental abruption (though was dr. induced). My docs (new ones, obviosly) say very unlikely will happen again, too. I know what you mean needing therapy if we get pregnant again. I feel the same way. I am hoping, hoping, hoping you get pregnant though. Wishing you the best, thinking of you and hoping you get some good rest.
Take care,
Christy

Megan said...

**HUGS** SO glad you found a dr that seems to understand your situation and be so proactive about it. Best of luck, sweetie!

The Washer said...

I am so happy to read this! Not that you are depressed, but the fact that you are moving in the right direction towards bettering your health, both mentally and physically. I am glad too, that you found a DR that is helpful and reasonable and so happy that you like her. :) Take care E, I'm still thinking about you.

Tena said...

Yay for good news! You are amazing. I know what depression is like. I know what it's like to want to die, just so that the pain stops. I am so glad you are getting help so that you can keep going. You are right; you won't replace Gabriel, not that you would be trying to, but you will have another child that will make that pain easier to bear. Gabriel will be watching over his younger sibling and he will always be a part of your life. (hug)

Tim'sWifey said...

I am so glad you like your new doctor. It sounds like you have a good plan put into place. Take care of yourself, sweetie. Know that I'm thinking of you constantly and am sending you hugs.
I just hope that my Katie Jane is taking care of Gabriel.

MSC from GP said...

I'm so glad that you're with someone who can give you the proper care to take care of yourself both physically and emotionally. It sounds like you're on a great path.

((HUGS))

Dawn~a~Bon said...

((HUGS))

shotzie said...

I'm so glad you found a doctor you're comfortable with and who could provide you some encouragement. It sounds like she's taking good care of you and is making sure you get what you need. ((Hugs))

Terri said...

I'm so happy to hear that you're feeling hopeful. It sounds like this doctor is a good match for you. Best wishes, and lots of ((hugs)).

outofcntrl82 said...

I have been thinking about you and hoping you are doing a bit better. So glad to read that you found a good doctor who gives you the support and encouragement you need to lift up your spirits. I hope that the anti-depressants give you a bit of relief and peace of mind. Take it all one day at a time. You are in my thoughts and I wish you strength. xoxo.