Fertility Friend = Chuckie Cheese for Women TTC (but without the pizza)

So it's like this.

You can get a special version of fertilityfriend called VIP if you opt to pay more for it; sort of like buying tokens for the rides/games at Chuckie Cheese (or at least how Chuckie Cheese used to be, I've gladly not stepped foot inside one in years).

VIP has some neat features to it, but it's not necessary. I bought a year subscription a little before we started TTC, and am still riding that out. Fun for me. The VIP features give you a fertility analysis based on your cervical fluid and position, your past cycle history, and your temps and opk's/monitors. It allows you to search specifically for charts like yours. I'm sure there is other stuff too that I'm missing. It also allows you access to their new and exciting Pregnancy Monitor!

The Pregnancy Monitor rates your sexual intercourse pattern and gives you odds of pregnancy based on that - low, good or high probability. I'm high this cycle, btw, as I was last cycle too. And brand spanking new - your estimated pregnancy points! On a scale of 0-100, they assign you points based on your post-ovulatory signs, symptoms and temperatures. The more frequently your signs are seen on pregnancy charts, the higher the points go.

So pregnancy points = the tickets you win when you play the games. Like Skeeball! I love Skeeball, btw. Been years, but oh, I used to rock Skeeball.

Anyhow, I'm currently clutching 68 tickets in my hot little hands. I am curious though - can I trade them in for a sticky pregnancy yet? Or do I need more than 75 tickets? Uhhhhh, I mean, points.

I am just sort of tickled by that. Especially because they don't mean anything. You can't trade them in like tickets and because early pregnancy symptoms are so often seen on non-pregnancy charts - it doesn't tell you anything. I mean, it's sort of neat, it maybe gives you a little hope (I'll admit to being kind of excited when it goes up), but honestly? What does it mean? Nada. It means you have sore boobs or gas or fatigue. Especially when you are talking about symptoms that occur before implantation could possibly have occurred, you know?

Just ridiculous, but I can go ahead and play with it to see if I get more or less points - that's how silly it is.

In other news, along the same lines - my symptoms. I wonder if they are in my head, precisely because I am having a bunch of weird little symptoms. Frequent need to pee, serious fatigue, increased appetite. My boobs aren't really achey or sore yet, but that was sort of true last time as well. It's hard not to think this is just progesterone induced things, since implantation would be maybe happening now-ish. But you know, it's not just in my head. DH and I spent all day together yesterday and said he agrees that I do need to pee more than usual, and that I am not drinking more than usual. He also agrees with my exhaustion continuing to be an issue. It's a relief to know I'm not just crazy, you know?

It doesn't help that my temperature is still going up. 97.8 today. I haven't seen 97.7 or 97.8 when I wasn't in a pregnancy chart. That thought sticks out in my mind, naturally. I am afraid to keep temping, lest this end in serious disappointment as the temp falls. I am afraid to stop temping, lest I go nuts with obsessions.

Still . . . I don't want to have too much hope. But Dh and I are both feeling optimistic. Fingers crossed, anyway. It's funny, I didn't think I would EVER want to test early, because I did not EVER want to see another positive test. But the old itch is back. It's difficult not to test today, even though there is no possible way for it to be positive. I still keep feeling that urge. Not testing tomorrow will be hard too.

I guess, if you are the praying type, pray for some peace for me. With whatever happens. I get nervous thinking about a positive, still, even though I really, really want one. I want to be ok if we don't get one. And of course, I want a healthy, sticky baby if we do. I know these things run through my mind nearly constantly right now.