I'd love to honey, but . . .

Ugh.

I FAIL at temp taking.

So the alarm goes off and dh is snoring away, completely oblivious. Now, he normally gets up, turns the evil alarm off (I have serious issues with this clock and try not to touch it during the week, lest I turn off the second alarm and wake up at 9:30 and freak out about how pissed my boss is going to be), and he sticks the thermometer in my mouth and I half-sleep through it. I consider it his staying active in our fertility quest (both ttc and tta). But this morning, he's sleeping through it and my anxiety is increasing, because I'm expecting a post-ovulatory temperature, and I don't want to falsely create that by rolling all the way over to the other side of the bed to get the thermometer. So I make loud moaney noises until DH wakes up and gets the thermometer.

He sticks it in my mouth and I promptly fall asleep again, to be startled awake by the damn thing beeping, and nearly falling out of my partially open mouth. It says 97.1.

Well, shit. 97.1 is not a post-O temp. Does this mean I've not ovulated after all? But the mouth was open, the thermometer was close to falling out. . . Shit. So I roll off my arm (it was starting to hurt) and immediately take it again. This time, mouth firmly closed, me firmly awake - 97.3, which is usually a post-O temp.

I go back to sleep. The full force of dilemma hits me now. It was a temp taken near the normal time (within 5 minutes of the normal time), and it was basically a waking temp. But you aren't supposed to take it over and over until you like the number you see. It's not a law of averages kind of thing.

In the end, I put the higher temp and a note on my chart. If it wasn't ovulation, then my temp will be in a pre-O range tomorrow, and no biggie.

However, I am impatient and don't want to wait until tomorrow, so I've been checking my other fertility signs, which has yielded nothing but confusion, so go me! I'm trying not to stress about it, but with mixed results. I mean, there is fluid, but how fertile? I think it's left-over sperm, and I don't have the wet, lube feeling of last week. Cervix is still really high - but feels firm. No more ovarian pain is a good sign, but ugh, crampiness blows.

So yeah, I'm debating whether or not to try and convince dh to have sex again or take a night off. Honestly - we've been having a lot of fun lately. The bedroom has been a place of creativity and a lovely expression of affection and love. But, uhm, we used to be once a week people. 10 times in 2 weeks is really sort of pushing it in my opinion. I think we could both use another break, though I hate to waste any possible fertile time. Ridiculous no?

I spent a lot of time looking at charts this weekend and the conclusion I reached? You can't control it. Great for someone who likes to control most of her universe, but it's true. I saw charts that were textbook perfect, excellent timing and no bfp. And I saw charts that had odd timing or just one possible instance of intercourse and + tests. I even saw one chart, that had there not been a + blood test, I would swear there was no ovulation. It was all over the place. So it'll happen or it won't. We're doing what we can to have sperm ready to meet the egg, but whether or not that helps is out of our control.

So . . . I'm thinking break tonight. After all, we still have another tree and half the house left to decorate. We did get the main tree up and it looks terrific. Then we got . . . um. . . occupied. The Spurs did uphold tradition though, wining in decisive fashion and yay! Keep going, guys!