Thursday, January 28, 2010

Long time coming

I've never shared Gabriel's pictures with a wide audience. I have no desire to do so, really. He's beautiful and perfect, and while a small part of me wants everyone to see and know that, the much bigger part of me says No. Halfway because I don't want to share him (he's ours and the pictures are about all we have left and it's a selfish impulse, but there it is), but also because I want to protect them. I do not want anyone to see them and feel scared or disgusted or uncomfortable.

However, I compromised with myself. I still have no intentions of making his picture public online. The people I want to see the pictures have had that opportunity, I believe. But we haven't done anything else with the pictures yet, and I've felt a growing pull to do something. After some thought, we decided that we wanted to display Gabe's picture here in our home, and have tried to find a thoughtful and non-confrontational way to do it. Just in case anyone ever, you know, visits us. On one hand, I don't give a shit what people think about me displaying my son's pictures in my house. On the other, I still do not wish to see anyone recoil or be unable to hide their unpleasant reaction.

After some more thought and deliberation, and the kindest offer from a friend who does brilliant photography and also volunteers with NILMDTS, we're figuring out what we want to display. She has already pulled together a beautiful small storyboard that I will be giving to my parents, and is editing our favorite picture for us - we already have a frame and will display this next to the box with his ashes in it. She's also going to create a sort of collage of pictures and images for our hallway.

But really, truly? The best thing she's done for us, I will share with you. She offered to create a digital image of Gabe's footprints if we could send her the card they were on. We did, with some trepidation. After all, if that were lost, a really important piece of Gabriel would be lost to us as well. But they did arrive safely, and she has given us a fantastic gift - his feet. We won't be able to ever lose them now, no matter what happens. We'll always have them with us.

Eventually, this will end up in a frame next to something else for my office, I think. I have an idea or two, but am not ready to put it out there. But this - this is worth sharing.



Kangaroo feet indeed. In the 4x6 print, they are true to size - a little bigger than my thumb. My son had big feet to go with his loooong arms and legs.

Thank you, Katie. We are so grateful to you. I don't know if we'll ever be able to express what you have given us by helping us with these.

19 comments:

Suz said...

what gorgeous little (big) feet...thanks so much for sharing them

Jessica@The Southern Belle Baby said...

I cried when I saw this. What a wonderful way to honor Gabriel's memory. Truly beautiful.

Susan said...

Those are perfect feet.

Mrs. Jenna said...

Eas - this is just beautiful. I'm glad I could have happy tears! :) Thank you for sharing!! <3

therootofallevel said...

oh it's perfect!

shawnandlarissa said...

Absolutely beautiful
~smilelari~

Stephanie said...

That is so perfectly wonderful.

Rebecca said...

Beautiful.

J said...

what beautiful feet!

xoxo
Jackie
(mrsmacias2008)

biojen said...

That is just beautiful. Thank you so much for posting it. The only picture I have of my Aiden that I'm not afraid to show people is the one of his perfect, tiny little feet poking out of a blanket. I have it framed at home surrounded by candles and tiny rose bushes. But I really wanted something at work without worrying about the "EW! Is that a picture of a dead baby?!" reaction that I have seen several times online. This is perfect! We scanned his footprints so this will be easy to do. Thank you so much for sharing this.

notsosmallfries said...

That's really wonderful.

CottonSocks said...

biojen -

Are you familiar with Names in the Sand? (namesinthesand.blogspot.com)

You can read the backstory there, but basically, they honor deceased children by writing their names in the sand and photographing it. Really beautiful. They aren't taking name requests right now, but hope to do so again soon. I'm planning to request Gabriel's name, and we'll buy the picture and either hang that, or pair it with this for the office (maybe both).

I'm glad this gave you an idea and that you have a pic of your Aiden's feet to display.

Malory said...

They are so precious. Janessa's footprints are one of my favorite items I have of her.

janineb said...

I completely understand you wanting to protect Gabriel's memory and keep the pictures for yourself. thank you for sharing this picture with us. It is an absolutely perfect treasure.

Dawn~a~Bon said...

Katie's an angel. His sweet little feet are so beautiful. I know the display will be a wonderful way to remember Gabriel as well.

shotzie said...

What a beautiful way to remember Gabriel. Love those feet!

Elaine said...

Such precious feet!

That Chick Over There said...

Lovely.

B said...

beautiful x