For a variety of reasons, including a wee bit of sleep deprivation, I realized that I've missed at least two, and possibly three doses of my anti-depressant until tonight.
I noticed that yesterday and today, I'd been feeling more scattered, more anxious, and this evening was starting to feel really down. I didn't like it at all. It was unnerving, and didn't feel good.
Now that I realized the pills were missing, I'm thinking there may be a connection.
Which is sort of scary. I didn't want to be forever dependent on the A/Ds. But you know what? My mom has needed them for a long time. And if that is how it feels going off?
The way I feel on is just so much more stable. It's not numbing, it's not a happy pill. It just . . . keeps me level and helps me focus. The highs are still highs, but the lows and the fears are not so soul-sucking and crushing.
Scary thought that my prescription is almost up again. Definitely need to get a new PCP and consider switching the prescription out from Dr. B to a PCP. Because, man. It was hell getting the last one written. I'll try the pharmacy thing the office suggested, but . . . ugh.
Even if I rethink it after the fact, there is no way I will consider going without the A/Ds as we approach August. God, how I've loathed that month. It's certainly not endeared to me now.