Thursday, June 26, 2008

Time out

I'm a little annoyed with Dh right now. He had to be at work at 8 today; we normally arrive at 8:30-8:45. Getting here by 8:00 requires that we get up a full hour and a half earlier, so that we can stumble around a bit and leave ample time for dealing with heavy traffic (by 8:10, around when we normally leave, traffic has lightened up considerably. It takes 20 minutes instead of 45+). I can't argue with his needing to be there when the office opened - I've done it too. What annoys me is that he failed to remind me last night. I stayed up late working doing a bit of research for something I think I'm going to try and write. Normally, my rule of thumb for both DH and myself is that if you are stupid enough to stay up late, then you are going to have to suck it up and be tired and not bitch about it. After all, we're adults here who are capable of understanding and dealing with consequences for our behaviors. But this time, I blame DH, because he let me stay up without once saying "Hey, don't forget we have to be up early tomorrow, so you might want to wrap this up." So I wanted to kick him in the face when he woke me up nearly two full hours earlier than I was expecting. Five hours of sleep isn't enough and it leaves me VERY cranky.

But I am a big girl, and he did mention it to me at least once yesterday, and I chose to stay up late, so I'm limiting my annoyance to here and one nicely phrased request that next time he remind me in the evening before it gets too late.

In other news, we went out with our friend Dave last night. It was his birthday, and it was fun to see him, since it's been about six months. We always say we need to do this more often, and never follow through, so he decided on the spot that we need to do this the first Wednesday of every month, and maybe a little more often as the case may be. Dh and I were both happy with this arrangement, since we really do miss seeing him. Of course, that means next week, but hey, why not? I think it'll be a good way to get in the habit of adult time now. I think making Wednesday our default date/outing night and getting used to budgeting that timewise and moneywise is a great idea.

Now, even though I'm tired, I'm actually feeling a bit more interested and upbeat about ttc than I have been the past few days. Maybe because my cervix is definitely soft and open and because my fluid is very wet (if still a little creamy in appearance) so I can tell things are finally happening. It sounds awful, but I just haven't been looking forward to the sex. I really enjoyed the individual sessions (if you will) last time, but the thought of another two weeks of frequent sex were really mentally exhausting me. We need to have more sex generally, and I thought ttc would help with this, but while the volume has increased a ton, we've been so tired afterwards that we didn't have sex again for a long time. It's just not a huge factor in our relationship like I see it is with some other people. I try not to worry about it, because when we discuss it, we're pretty happy with our sex life. We both have thought we should work on an increase to some extent, and now we are, and we are enjoying each other more, but we're ok with things. So why compare to other people with different lives, you know?

Anyway, despite feeling cranky and grouchy on one hand, I'm actually feeling happier and more optimisitic on the other. I like that.

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