Monday, September 1, 2008

Wouldn't that be ironical?

So following our anovulatory cycle of despair, I've been watching my body warily. There is no telling what it would do, so I needed to pay closer attention than normal to the fertility signs. I had some fertile fluid with medium cervix right after the bleeding stopped, but it dried up quickly. It seemed we were in for a standard cycle, but then there was some genuine eggwhite fluid. We chose not to have sex, because we were tired and figured there would be plenty of opportunity, if previous cycles were any indication. Sure enough, back to clearly creamy fluid for a day or two. Then the weird in between, more wet than creamy, but not clear enough to be watery or stretchy enough to be eggwhite fluid. We still didn't have sex, because I wasn't looking forward to another sex marathon and was ready to push it off.

Then clear ewcm/watery fluid. Coinciding with a weekend! We had sex Friday and Saturday and it was fun. Those days also had cramping near my ovaries. I didn't mark it as ovulatory pain initially, remembering back to the first cycle ttc, which was following an anovulatory cycle. Low and behold, I had lots of ovulatory pain leading up to O, because of a cyst. I figured this was probably more of the same, though it was more intense than the other.

I felt yesterday that I was very wet. Dripping almost, not to be too tmi. I wanted to have sex, but dh passed out on the floor and given that he was that tired, and all my other cycles have had so much fertile time, I skipped it. I figured we could just stay in our regular timetable of 2 on/1 off. I stayed up late on the holiday night, working on a story I'm writing. I was pleased with it, so much that I only just snuck to bed right before 2:30. I temp at 5:30, so that's cutting it awfully close. Of course, experience has shown me that roughly 2 -3 hours of stillness is enough for an accurate base temp, so I didn't think much of it.

That brings us to three hours later, when DH fumbles to put the thermometer in my mouth and I finally grabbed it from him did it myself, and the temp was 97.2. That is a big jump over my previous temps. That's a standard post-O temp from me (though we learned roughly two weeks ago that that doesn't mean much, as I had a big inexplicable jump and started my anovulatory bleeding). My cervix seemed lower. My fluid was back to the creamy/watery thing again, so neither were much help in trying to interpret the temp, and we're back where we always were, which is that we'll have to wait and see what happens tomorrow.

I finding it ironic, because if I did in fact ovulate, then I did it on cd 14. And if I got pregnant, that would mean getting pregnant on a fucking textbook perfect cycle, after the anovulatory cycle from hell. And from only 2 acts of intercourse - well, we did it again this morning as a precaution (if temps stays up, then it might have been close enough to ovulation to catch the egg, and would make me feel minimally better about not having had sex last night, since the difference in time was about 9 hours; if temps drop, then we've already had our regularly scheduled sex today). I think it's terribly amusing, really.

Annoying, but amusing.

Of course, I can't quite squash the hope that it's all worked and I am going to find out I'm pregnant in 10 days. I don't want to go on that ride again, but the seed of hope has been planted. As I just pointed out to DH, if this was ovulation, and it doesn't work, it guarantees that we would be period-free for our trip, and moreover, most likely in the fertile window. Creating an anniversary baby would be a great gift. Oh, I hope, I hope, I hope.

Ok, then, hope out of my system, and now just curiousity to see what happens next. After all, I may have to discard that temp as sleep deprivation if nothing happens tomorrow. If that's the case, well, we'll just keep doing the things that are making us feel better - eat very well, get adequate sleep and at least some exercise.

As a form of self-torture, dh and I are about to go spend our holiday at a baby store, ordering the swivel/glider/recliner I've had my eye on for months. After hitting up a big local furniture store closing sale and not finding anything we like so well, we've decided to bite the bullet and order the chair. I think we may finance it to lessen the blow, but we really do need another piece of furniture in our living room, and unfortunately, the baby store is the only place in town to order this manufacturer. So I'm excited, but also sort of bummed. As often as I meandered through baby stores on the pretext of shopping for friends and relations over the previous year, I've not once stepped near one since we began ttc. I'm afraid it might make me sad. The stuff we've bought doesn't make me sad, but this might. Oh well, I'm getting a new chair out of it, and we may be able to find a dresser for DH.

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