Friday, February 20, 2009

I am in a fucking BAD mood.

Five gazillion little things going wrong.

Tiny little mistakes that fuck up everything (like leaving my lunch at home. I am a FAIL at WW today. I know that the program is designed to accomodate things like this, and you can use all your weekly allowance points, but if I'm just going to eat crap and whatever, why am I doing this. FAIL.).

Feel exhausted. Muscles hurt, house is not clean.

STILL SPOTTING. For fuck's sake. It's been over 2 months, with three long actual bleeding episodes. And I had to wear PADS for most of it. I'm still 'pregnant' and I'm still bleeding. If this had been normal I would be in the fucking SECOND TRIMESTER right now. This fucking sucks. I ruined another pair of new underwear - all but the remaining 4 new pair are stained now. I feel awful and I am so goddamned tired of it. Fine, it's not a real pregnancy, whatever. But why do I have to be punished on top of that? It's been almost a month. I think I should have stopped bleeding/spotting by now, especially when one considers that I bled for 6 weeks before treatment.

I am just feeling utterly drained and totally exhausted right now.

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