Sunday, March 21, 2010

Feeling vaguely insulted.

My temp dropped this morning to 96.8. This is not terribly surprising because the outside temperature dropped yesterday to a shockingly low degree (overnight, it was mid-30's). I had a lovely lunch yesterday with another dead baby mama, and we sat near a door and talked for four hours (it flew by and boy were we shocked to see the time!). It was raining when we arrived, which continued the entire time, but the wind picked up and soon there was a brisk chill whenever the door was opened.

Nevertheless, we left the heat off and bundled up to ward the chill, which was fine, except I believe that to be the biggest culprit in the low temperature because anywhere that wasn't bundled under three blankets resulted in instant near-frostbite.

Still, it's not terribly attractive, it is quite irritating, and to top it off, I finally get my pregnancy points and I've got a mere 7. I've never started with less than 20 or so. I feel insulted, really. Just because my temp dropped when they think it should be going up?! Well.

I haven't any better idea what is going on. Given the amount of pain which accompanied ovulation, I am certain of the date and would have expected a higher temperature. Several higher temps. One of the ideas behind Clomid (and thus, to some degree, soy - and to a different degree from a different angle, b6) is stronger ovulation produces a better progesterone response. So far, there has been NO indication of that. If temps are to be believed, it's not even as usual. Hmph.

Nevertheless, I find myself not caring too much beyond mild interest. If conception happened, it's happened. The little blastocyst is beginning to implant or it's not. It exists or it doesn't. End of story. Somehow (for now -I'm sure the angst will return in a day or so) I am feeling far more relaxed and optimistic about this cycle than I quite think I have a right to do. I have no distinguishing or outstanding signs (for all that it is only 5 dpo), just some tender breasts that aren't quite at the full sore and aching stage and a touch of nausea more likely related to my eating habits. And fatigue, but that's hardly surprising.

Still, I hope. Dastardly, deceiving, foolish hope leads me on.

No comments: