Tuesday, March 23, 2010

'You and me goin' fishin' in the dark'

Ha. That was playing today on the way home and seemed appropriate (it's by the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band, if you've not got the reference).

Actually, I don't really feel much urge to visit the fishing hole at this point. 7 dpo (give or take. I could buy a cd21 ovulation, but not the cd22 crap FF is selling at the Advanced setting), so too early by a shot to test. Normally, I'm just really getting into stride with my over-analysis and symptom observation.

It's not that anything much has changed this cycle except that there isn't much to observe. A wee bit of nausea (just a whiff) if I get too hungry, but that's nothing. Cervix and cm are normal for me. My breasts seem less tender, if anything. My skin is completely horrid and I am unhappy about that, but moving on, the only thing at all unusual or weird is the cramping. I've had a fair amount today off and on. Twingey ovary feelings to AF-sorts of feelings. No idea what that means, beyond 'probably not much.'

Otherwise things are good. I felt like today wrapped up into a good day at work, and that I got a fair amount done (yay!). And things continue on in a positive way, I think. I have been terribly tired, and to that end, I've promised DH I would go to bed by 11 tonight, so this will be short.

Someone asked when I'll be testing. The answer is 'When I'm likely to get an answer that has hope of being accurate.' I usually give in by 9 or 10 dpo. I'm a little superstitious about it, actually. The only pregnancies that were at all normal or hopeful showed a clear positive by 10 dpo. The ectopic was 12 dpo and the chemical pregnancy was 13 dpo before a faint positive made its debut.

So a few more days at least. DH has threatened to hide the tests to prevent early testing, and he has a point. It's lost a lot of luster for me, but I still hope to know as early as possible to get the medical ball rolling. So, probably by the end of the week, though whether or not that will actually answer the question is a totally separate thing, as my period isn't due until Monday.

Overall, the peaceful feeling is mostly intact, but I am starting to wonder, and have some cracks. I feel myself tense up when the alarm goes off, knowing my temp will be revealed soon. I am just hopeful that it continues to rise. But if it doesn't, well, it doesn't. Not much to do but wait and see, and I (at least thus far) feel largely content to do so.

(Never mind the voice that sounds startlingly like Veruca Salt whining 'I want to know NOW. Never you mind that at all.)

2 comments:

Alyssa said...

I know what you mean about the superstitious thing. I had two chemical pregnancies in a row last year, and then got pregnant on the third month with my daughter.

The chemical pregnancies had positives at 12 and 13 DPO, but the month that resulted in Hailey had a SUPER dark positive at 10 DPO.

Alyssa said...

Oh and I know the whole tense feeling when about to temp... I love temping because I'm a very logical/numbers/charts type of person, and temping is great for that. But I do sometimes notice a little poorer sleep when I know an important day regarding temp is here (i.e. tomorrow morning I think I'll have a temp that shows I ovulated today).

It's not good, cause the poor sleep results in less-reliable temps!