Wednesday, July 2, 2008

96.9, friends.

Whew! It went up! Whooooo! That's very exciting for me personally, as you can see.

In related fertility news - crampiness around my ovaries has been coming and going and increasing in intensity. It's gone currently. I hope I ovulate soon. I'm really ready to get to the 2ww. I just keep thinking about the anovulatory cycle I had cycle before last and won't feel really comfortable until after ovulation. We had some really terrific sex last night, and will try again tonight. I can't really complain about our timing! I do hope this all comes together for something soon though, because this week+ gets tiring. And because I want children obviously.

That's funny, I just stopped myself from typing baby instead of children. It's a distinction I am becoming more and more inclined to make regularly. Obviously I want a baby - that's the idea behind the ttc gig. But I want more than a baby - I want pregnancy, labor and delivery, late nights, spit up, diapers, crawling, walking, talking children that I raise to be good, level-headed, happy adults. Baby is just a very tiny, limited portion of that. And these days, when I hear people say that they want a baby - the immediate image conjured in my mom involves temper tantrums and teenagers - think nearly any of the girls on The Baby Borrowers. I'm not just looking for cute and giggly and smiley and loving - I want it all (though, please note I do not anticipate relishing broken sleep and screaming children).

I had an odd reaction to The Baby Borrowers last week. I mean, I had the same desire to slap sense into most of these girls (and a couple of the boys) that most people did, but I also felt an overwhelming calm and sense of - "Yeah - exactly, this is what I want!" I really want to have a child with my husband and see him grow and watch our love expand. There is so much that I want to share with and teach our children - it's such an amazing world out there, you know?

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