Friday, July 18, 2008

Getting excited about ttc again.

Now that the hormones have dropped off and the period is under control with a medium to light flow today (yesterday was really heavy and the first day was awful and crampy). I'm feeling much better and ready to go for this next cycle.

But mostly I'm really happy because Dh and I are taking a short trip for our anniversary. Well, right before our anniversary. We are going back home and staying at the same b&b we stayed at last year for our anniversary and where we stayed for our 'honeymoon'. The inn is really lovely, and the innkeeper is attentive and friendly and we enjoy it.

First I'm happy that Dh wants to go back because I wasn't sure he enjoyed himself as much as I did last year. I needed a break pretty badly, and it came at the perfect time. I know he had a good time, but I was afraid he was kind of bored. So I was sort of surprised that he was as enthusiastic as he was about going. I felt really reconnected to him and close to him during and after the trip and looking forward to that again just gladdens my heart and makes me feel like I'm brimming over with love and peace and joy.

Second, I'm happy because of the deal. Long story short, we've always stayed in the same room and once I got the vacation time approved, I booked the room online. I was expecting a confirmation last night, but instead got an email from the innkeeper that was apologetic, but let me know that they are doing renovations in September that include doing away with the suite we wanted and to please call him to discuss our options if we still want to stay at the inn. We had a lovely conversation about the changes they are having and he remembered us from last year. The short version is that he's going to hold a couple of suites for us, including the brand new super-suite they are furnishing right now for a couple of weeks. They are trying to get the new suite furnished and priced and update the website. Once they do that, we can look at the new suite and the newly upgraded suite and take our pick of them. And they will give us a discounted rate on the new suite for our patience and in exchange for feedback about the suite, since we've stayed there before and can compare! Wooo!

I think I really want to stay in the new suite, which is going to have at least a king size bed (important, since that's what we currently sleep in) and a kitchen and jacuzzi tub for 2 (WOOOO! I have long had fantasies of jacuzzi sex and would love to fulfill them. Apart from that, a nice huge tub for me to luxuriate in, since I can't take baths at home for the moment is THRILLING), etc. I am so over the moon about the trip - cannot wait to see the pics of the new suite and get everything settled.

I cannot wait for the trip, period. It's really going to be exciting and lovely. We'll drop off the dog with Dad and not tell anyone where we are staying, so we can get out of family obligations and just enjoy our time with each other.

And honestly, this is seriously improving my outlook on ttc - because if I don't get pregnant in the next two cycles - well, that's ok now. It means we can have champagne instead of sparkling cider and we can return to the winery we went to last year for another tasting and we can order a bottle of wine with our big dinner out and walk around the square being tipsy and holding hands and make out under the streetlight again (or wherever, you catch my drift).

If I am pregnant, well, it'll still be a kick-ass trip, just a more sober one!

But having something positive to look forward to as a result of being not pregnant is really helping me relax about ttc and lifting my spirits for the next cycle (or two). I may still experience disappointment, but having something else to focus on and be excited about and something to really look forward to is just making me feel uplifted. Well worth the money we'll spend.

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