Monday, July 14, 2008


Well, that's that, I expect. I know the stats, that only 35% of pregnant women get positives at 10 dpo. So, theoretically, I could still yet get a positive. But if I do, it's entirely unrelated to whatever I saw or imagined Saturday night. I guess that was a flukey test or overactive imagination, because I got several negatives yesterday and this morning I had wonderfully concentrated urine and two more BFNs. Even my husband's gut feeling is wavering and I am firmly back in the 'not pregnant' stance.

I'm a little sad (and angry about the painful boobs - can't that at least be showing for something?), but I'll spend today getting mentally ready to move on. Our timing wasn't great and ttc wasn't as fun this cycle, so I can concentrate on diet and exercise and losing weight until the next time, when I will spring new lingerie and interesting suggestions for sex (before the dog gets out) at my unsuspecting husband.

Do I sound ok? I'm trying to put up a good front of cheerfulness for DH. I mean, I'm hardly devastated by no success in two cycles, but I am disappointed at the certainty that I will be at least 29 before I have any children, and therefore in my thirties when I have at least 2 (possibly 3) children. That's not a bad thing, mind you, just not how I pictured things working out. So I'm disappointed and trying to come to terms with it.

The good thing is that I am happy right now, and I love my life overall, so even if things didn't go the way I hoped/planned - what has resulted is pretty good anyway. And isn't that just about the best you can hope for?

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