Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Still Waiting. Going insane.

All day long, I've been one long tense bundle of nerves, willing my phone to ring and for the news to be good.

I can't concentrate, I can't focus . . . I have had a strong desire to crawl under my desk and whimper until the phone rings.

I am seriously stressed out.

The MW said that the results would be back by 1:00 pm, but to give it at least another hour in case they are backed up. When there was no phone call by 2:01 pm, I gave in. I meant to wait until 2:00 pm, but visions of bad news and breaking it to me gently and the overwhelming nervous nausea I've had all day long overrode courtesy and I called the birth center.

One of the other midwives answered. The one I dislike. Blah. She informs me that the fax machine is not working properly, so they haven't gotten all the results in and she is having to call the labs and ask for each result to be re-faxed or given over the phone and she hasn't received mine yet. But they'll call when they do!

For fuck's sake. Patience has never been one of my virtues, and in this case, it goes straight past nerve-wracking into fucking tortorous and I would probably trade state secrets for my damned beta results.

I fucking need to know. Does this shit happen? Yeah, it does. Can I do anything about it? Nope. Is this driving me off the deep end? Only about 3 hours ago.

Fuck me running.

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