Monday, January 12, 2009

No real news.

Went out and had my blood drawn.

It was awful. The last one was no bruise, no pain, quick and done. This one was terrible. There was needle digging, that's all I will say. And a large blue bruise that won't look really awful for another day or so. Eek.

She said the results may be in tonight, but tomorrow is more likely, and indeed it will be tomorrow. I am nervous about the number. I am hopeful it will be high, but the last time I hoped that it didn't go so well at all. So I am leery.

The mw asked if I'd had any pregnancy symptoms, and I have, which I shared with her. Once she finished up, she said she is excited and hopeful for me, which surprised me. It was uplifting though, made me hopeful. We talked about how I am trying not to be hopeful, but it is true that the spotting is so much lighter than it was last week, at least since I passed the clot yesterday. I actually successfully slept without a pad and it was fine. I did take the precaution of wearing a pad to work, and that was good. There was another small clot, but it was fine after that. That makes me hopeful that perhaps the numbers will go up.

She pointed out that she was surprised by what had happened already, and that she had a good feeling now about this. I can only hope. I told her that I was worried about ectopic and she said she still was not concerned, though she said that we would have to rule it out if the numbers came back higher.

So I should have an u/s in the next couple of days if the numbers have increased. I feel rather nervous about that. The last one was not such a good experience, you know. And I have no idea what we would be expecting to see. I mean, I know what you would expect to see on a 7 week u/s, but with super low levels, what do you expect? Are you concerned if you see a 5 week pregnancy? If there is no h/b? I guess whatever it is will have to be repeated if we don't see whatever someone is expecting. The hope of course is that there is something in the uterus, disspelling the idea of something not in the uterus.

I feel just sort of nervous and mildly anxious. Too many variables at play here and that persistant, never ending hope weaving through it all.

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