Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Some ttc stuff.

Since it is supposed to be a blog about ttc and all and I feel like I haven't much been talking about that recently (though a look-see denies that perception).

Anyhow - I did ovulate, 2 days after the positive opk (though I personally think it was more like 36 hours). Since we didn't have sex again, there was only 1 shot at it, and the timing is only sort of meh. There was definitely eggwhite fluid and such, but I'm trying hard not to get obsessed with things and worry about it.

Most of the time, I have a healthy attitude about it. We have a chance, and it was a decent chance. If it doesn't work, well, we'll have better chances next cycle (and will be totally clear of the concern of any lingering effects of methotrexate). That said - I do have a peaceful, even hopeful feeling about things, a tiny little beam of light that whispers this may have been our chance for a healthy baby.

I definitely believe going ahead, even with just one try, was the right move and I won't be asking lots of questions or wondering.

Of course I am not always one with the healthy attitude. I spent some time in looking at the edd and at my chart (which show exactly nothing at 4 dpo except a clear biphasic shift). I have spent some time concentrating on the cramps I was feeling, wondering if perhaps - just perhaps - that might be the fallopian tubes hard at work pushing along wonderful dividing cells . . . and then I recall I felt something similar the first cycle ttc and that was a big fat nothing and that our timing was meh at best.

Hard not to fall back into the ways of obsession, but I am trying. Best I can do, I suppose. And that will be the last update for awhile, unless something really spectacular occurs that warrants talking about. I'd rather focus on how I'm getting a 4 day weekend and all the wonderful things that will entail. Which is for tomorrow, dear readers.

1 comment:

Alyssa said...

You sound so positive and I'm very glad. I know that some days are harder than others, but you are doing GREAT! :)