Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Feeling better!

I don't want to get too gross or graphic, so I'll just say that I feel pretty confident everything is gone. Not 100%, but things happened much as the midwife told me they should. She said the bleeding would get a lot heavier, and it did, and then it would get a lot lighter after things passed, which has happened. The cramping was really bad for a few hours, but this morning is gone. It's like a medium period day.

I feel physically a million times better. It's weird not to be pregnant anymore, to remember how it feels not to be exhausted and tired and bloated all the time. I feel normal again. Which is sort of weird in itself.

I know things are not done, and there will be a long road ahead, with a lot of feelings and mixed emotions, but I do know, 100%, that I'm going to be all right. And that DH will be all right. It will take some time, but we will be ok.

This isn't what we wanted. This is not what we would ever choose. I'd rather have our Chickadee safe and growing inside me than be on the verge of the ttc rollercoaster again and all the fears of a safe and healthy pregnancy the next time that test turns positive, let alone the potential of ever having to do this again. But it hasn't been all bad.

There are so many amazing people who have stepped up to offer love and support and comfort and warm arms and prayers. My family and friends have been amazing - I cannot express how much I love my husband and appreciate every single thing he's done for me. I can't tell you how supportive and wonderful the 'internet people' have been. Thank you to the Ho's, the SpursTalk family, the wonderful ANers and BOTBers. Thank you again and again from the bottom of my heart.

There will be a lot to pay forward from this, and to do it in Chickadee's honor - well, that will be a fitting tribute, I think.

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