Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Took the first dose of misoprostol.

About 15 minutes ago I took the 100 mcg orally, and 25 mg vaginally. I will repeat the 25 mcg vaginally every six hours until everything passes or I have reached the full dose of 100 mcg.

I doubt that will happen, that so much will be needed. My levels are indeed falling rapidly, and cervical fluid has become creamy, as it does before a period. While I was pregnant for nearly 10 weeks, the embryo only developed to 5-6 weeks and the sac only developed to 7 weeks. It shouldn't take much to cause enough dilation and cramping for everything to pass. I hope that is the case anyway.

DH is staying home with me today. The last couple of days have been harder for him than me. His first concern when we found out was me, because I was so distraught. He said now that he knows I'll be ok, all the emotions I had previously are really hitting him. Just as I'm getting ready to think about trying again and weighing the odds of everything, he's getting gun shy. It kills me to see him so sad. He emailed his boss this morning to fill him in. His work is a polling place, so it's a big deal he's not there, but his boss will hopefully understand. He said he couldn't deal with telling him and speaking all the words out loud, and I felt my heart break again.

So far, I've had a couple of minor cramps. I expect it will take some time. My midwife said that it would be a lot like labor - cramps coming and going with some break between, with that time shortening until everything passed. She said first cramping, then spotting, then bleeding. Bleeding would get heavy until everything passed, then would lighten up considerably. I was going to take it last night after she called, but found in the end, I was more comfortable getting some sleep rather than staying up all night potentially.

It was hard to take it. It was hard to make myself take a medication that I know will cause me pain and bleeding, but it was necessary. It's not like walking into surgery is so much easier, anyway. The hardest thing was to take it, though I know everything is over and nearly done with, even though I know that I wanted it to end soon. It hit me again that this is ending my pregnancy, and this is the end of Chickadee. I said goodbye already, and I know that I am not doing anything bad or wrong, but it's still hard to do.

It's done now though. I can't take any pain meds until everything is over, because they could interfere with the meds. I hope the miso works, because the only other option is to have a d&c and I still have to jump through hoops to make that happen. I'd rather avoid it. Wish me luck.

1 comment:

Holly and Sean said...

Good luck with everything today. I am glad your hubby is home to support you through this. My thoughts will be with you.