Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Made it through the half-day.

It was harder than I expected. I think everyone is being very kind, and I was only in the actual office for about 20 minutes, but it's going to be hard. Only way to deal with it is to go through it, sadly, but it's hard and I don't like it.

I'm not ready to go back. But I don't know when I will be, and at this point there is no physical reason to avoid coming back. Emotionally, well, some days I'm a wreck, and that's going to take time. Might as well not waste my sick leave then, right? I was an absolute wreck after DH tried to kill himself a long time ago, but I went back to work, and I survived. It sucked, but then things became more routine and got easier and time passed and I survived. So that is what needs to happen again.

I'm tired though. I know it's more a depressed tired than a physical tired, but that doesn't matter much in the end when I just feel worn down and wrung out. I'm looking forward to the end of this all, but I don't know when that will be. One day at a time, I suppose.

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