Saturday, April 11, 2009


Or is it OPK fail? Or vitex fail?


So here is the bottom line.

All fertility signs point to ovulation on cd 17 (which was Thursday). On Thursday, cm starting drying up, mood swings stopped, breasts were no longer sensitive/tender, cervix hardened and dropped some, the pain I targeted as ovulation pain was gone, on and on, world without end, amen. I really expected to see a high temp yesterday morning. But no. A drop actually, to 96.6. I briefly wondered if it was because we'd turned the AC back on and the temp was low and I woke without covers . . . you can see where this is going. But since the temp wasn't dramatically different than previous nights and I often wake without covers, I snapped myself back to reality and figured I'd see more signs of fertility.

Only I didn't. Creamy fluid - occasionally bordering on watery, but most often ending at milky, cervix remained medium level and firmness and opening, and things continued to support my theory. I said to myself - ok then. Temp will go in the morning, and then bam, you'll be right.

Only, again - temp didn't rise to post-o levels. Sigh.

So far, the song remains the same. No real fertility sign yet, no clue what is going on. Vitex can work for as little as 10 days - and that was Thursday. Perhaps it's blocking excess estrogen already and that is why fertility signs are nil - because I wasn't really anywhere near ovulation, I just had lots of excess estrogen about. Which makes me wonder, if that is true, what is going on with my body in relation to the vitex. I was hoping for an earlier ovulation, even at cd 18. I figured that was a bit much to hope for, but meh. I also hope to win the lottery. Aim big. So it's hard to understand what is happening, if it's possibly working. Bothersome.

And then there is the opk dilemma. I've been using primarily FR, as I got a box of 7 and a box of 20 as part of my pregnancy test purchases. I have been getting faint lines for awhile, with the random darker but not positive line. Today? Positive, or the next thing to it. So I try out a cheapie brand - and there is barely a second line. Same for the glaringly negative digital.

What the hell? The box is nowhere near expiration yet, and I've tried to be careful to reseal the pouch, but maybe I didn't? BAH. I have read that taking vitex, because it works to increase lh, can make opks useless, but I also read about women using them successfully. I figured, because of the potential increase, that it would make more opk's appear positive, not that you wouldn't pick up a surge (that is why women with PCOS frequently can't use opk's). If two other brands are not backing up this reading, then I have to assume the fault is not with the two brands I've successfully used in the past so much as with the new brand, yeah?

And again - I don't know what's going on. No fertility signs at all. It's sort of like the hurricane, when I couldn't temp. I was pretty certain I'd ovulated, but no way to confirm. Only now the confirmation is available, just not giving me what I want. I suppose now we simply proceed to continue having sex and watching until either this picks up again, becomes anovulatory, or proof of ovulation is acheived. Frustrating.

And scary. Because I realized that with Chickadee, not only did I ovulate late -cd 25 - it was a fake cycle. The previous cycle was anovulatory, and the bleeding that marked a new cycle was not a real period. Therefore, I didn't really ovulate on cd 25 so much as cd 58. That is a very late ovulation, and very well could have been the issue. And the ectopic was an ovulation on cd 35, within normal timeframe when you take all the bleeding from the miscarriage into account, but still pretty late. I'm afraid of a recurrence of that scenario and the same outcome. This is worrisome. And I'm not sure what to do other than what I am doing right now, which is not reassuring and doesn't feel like enough.

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