Monday, April 6, 2009

Highs and lows.

Lovely day. Chilly but gorgeous.

Productive day. Lots of good work done and a truce called between me and my new scanner/printer, allowing me to get more done.

Good hair day. Chocolate muffins from work in honor of my birthday (and no cake to butcher while people watch).

New adapter working on the computer, even while I sit in my chair, meaning we may not have to replace the jack in the laptop very soon.

Feeling excited about possible positive fertility.

And then boom. Crash. Ugh.

DH is unhappy about work. He hates his job. His options boil down to finish his degree or stick tight in what he's doing and suck it up. But he is so unhappy. Absolutely miserable and his self esteem is shot. And I can't fix it. I can't do a single thing to make it better. I hate it.

I'm feeling low. Depressed. Fat. Ugly.

The opk is negative, and not nearly as dark as it was earlier.

We've met with a financial planner to try and help organize our finances, savings and get out of debt and hope to eventually have money and savings and such. It's so depressing. While I thought we were doing pretty well overall, some tiny savings, meeting all our bills and a lot of little extras, with only a mortgage, car payment and single credit card debt that is getting gradually smaller. We felt we could afford a baby and everything. After going over what we should have in savings and how much we should have in life insurance and how much we should be putting aside for retirement every month, I am thoroughly depressed.

It's all so overwhelming right now. I briefly thought that maybe it was hormonal, but I'm sure that's far too reasonable and hopeful.

It's a mess right now.


Serendipite said...

I'm sorry, and I understand

Just Caz said...

If at any point in the day.
You can focus on the positives.
Your doing so well.