Monday, December 22, 2008

Bleeding has slowed, test still +.

Unfortunately, the trend is broken. This morning's test was not darker than yesterday evening's test; nor was it as dark.

It is positive, clearly positive, but looks like yesterday morning's test. I'm afraid that is a sign that the hcg is, in fact, dropping.


This is aggravating, and frustrating. Not having answers. The answers I appear to have are not the ones I want anymore. I had planned to call my mw today to request a beta, but now I'm hesitating. I don't even know what to say or how to explain this. 'Hi, I'm a giant idiot and took a bunch of pregnancy tests even though I had my period and they were positive and they are still positive only not as dark and I'm sure hcg is going away, but can I please leave work early when I am terribly swamped and come have my blood drawn? Even though I can't possibly have a second round done and I'm pretty sure that when I take a test tonight, the test will be even fainter and maybe negative?'


I really do feel like a moron, for testing at all and for having hope. I've known all along that a chemical pregnancy was the likeliest outcome, but I still gave myself hope that it might not turn out that way. Now that it looks more like it's happening after all (as bleeding has dramtically slowed, naturally), I feel sad and disappointed. Not overwhelmingly so, but I do feel it.


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