Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Temp dropped some this morning.

Down to 97.8.

So, still high, but a little disappointing. I was hoping it was going to stay really really high or go higher. Now I'm feeling a little down, wondering if this is the beginning of a drop in advance of my period showing up Friday or Saturday or if it will stay where it is or go up again.

Last time, I had a high (97.9) then a drop off (97.5) then a jump (98.1) and then a drop again (97.6) and then another jump back (98.1). So a .3 drop isn't as dramatic or bad. But it could go either way, so . . .

But. And yet. (as well as other ominous conjunctions)

Negative test last night. (* more on that in a moment) Negative test this morning. I could easily brush off negative test last night - it was only 9 dpo. But this morning is harder to do, if I'm being honest. I know that only 35% of tests are positive at 10 dpo with a sensitive test. But I got a + at 10 dpo last time. So not seeing that today, a little let down.

I'm trying to remember that I saw it with second morning urine and that it was faint (and got more clear as the day wore on). That the first really clear and indisputable line was 11 dpo. But since I didn't go back to bed for the extra hour and a half of sleep (because I wanted to test), I'm feeling pessimistic and grumpy.

Grump, grump, grump.

I'm trying hard to find positive things in the idea of not being pregnant this cycle, but they are superficial and I know the bottom line is I will felt let down and a little betrayed by my body for these awesome temps and things if there is no positive test at the end of this.

I'm debating now whether or not I want to try testing again tonight. If I do and it's still negative I think my mood will sour even more. But I don't know if I can hold out until tomorrow. . . Sigh. I should have stuck to my original promise to wait until the end of my lp to test, or not to temp in the lp. I don't like this up and down feeling attached to my temp. I go to bed feeling nervous and if I wake up at night I feel anxious that it will artificially inflate the temp. It is no good, though I've been comforted having that data and wishing I could compare it to non-pregnant charts.

No comments: