Friday, December 12, 2008

Uh, obsess much?

Yes, yes I do.

I've now looked at my chart a good 12 times today.

As if it is somehow going to magically change itself and reveal the secrets of how to make the philosopher's stone or how to read the stars or how to give the perfect blow job while losing 20 pounds fast without missing your fave foods or exercising! Oh, wait, the last bit is Cosmo.

(sidenote for anyone visiting from botb - remember when it was revealed that Cosmo doubles as a medical journal? Good times, my friends, good times)

So, naturally nothing is changing, but I continue to stare at it. And compare it. And stare at it. And compare it to previous charts.

What can I tell you after exhautive research? My boobs usually start feeling tender and/or achey around 6 dpo. I do remember that during the pregnancy chart they felt different - not achey, just heavier, really. The ache came later. I can also tell you that I cramp early on, and I get gassier during the 2ww. My skin breaks out (but is really dry right now, and that can lead to oil).

And though I try to stop when I realize I'm doing it, the 2ww symptom overanalysis has begun as well. I have had to pee a lot more than usual today. And I was exhausted last night. Totally, thoroughly wiped out, nodding in my chair, blinking my eyes at 8:30. I bravely struggled until 9:00, but then gave up the ghost and went to sleep. And slept well, though it was dream filled.

The last time I felt like that, I was pregnant.

Oh, and I'm struggling to stay awake right now.

However, that can be attributed to the two holiday lunches I attended, I'm sure. And last night is probably attributible to the late nights of earlier in the week (though progesterone does make you tired, and that is present in the 2ww). I have no explanation for the bathroom trips. Truly.

But here I am, at 5 days past ovulation, analyzing. Looking at my loverly temp this morning (97.7, if you are curious) and sighing contentedly, as if it means anything. If there is a blastocyst (and there is about 80% chance there is not), then it won't implant for another 1-4 days. No implantation means any temp changes or symptoms are not linked to maybebaby.

And yet . . .

I feel hope. I can only hope that I don't feel tons of disappointment if this cycle doesn't work out.

1 comment:

Mrs. MooMoo said...

Seriously -- I believe I was feeling strange symptoms since the day I O'd - they never went away. Cramping, fatigue, boobs getting 'fluffier'. My temp is all over the place. We have a faint positive. you never know! Only you can read your body, you know what's normal and what's not. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you and a BFP!!!